Rest of book

Posted by Beetle B. on Thu 19 January 2023

He describes a focusing exercise that will get you focused within two minutes. It’s a breathing/meditation exercise. I don’t want to write down all the details.

It is hard to change your habits. It may be a good idea to plan a controlled setback! Plan a setback so you can rehearse your reactions. Make a record of the thoughts and anxieties that send you back into procrastination. Go forth and procrastinate as you would prefer.

  • Choose a project on which you will likely procrastinate.
  • Note the “warning” signs you get (e.g. overwhelmed with all the steps, felling down because of “have tos”, etc)
  • Consciously procrastinate for a few hours and note the self-statements and self-criticisms.
  • Note how these thoughts lead to feeling worse.

After noting all this down, come up with a plan to deal with these behaviors in the future.

Hardiness

Research shows three personality characteristics that lead to hardiness:

  • Commitment
  • Control
  • Challenge

Those who have these tend to resist illness better than others.

To build hardiness, practice these attributes in your leisure activities. As an example, if walking a fixed distance (2 miles), complete the goal and then try to walk an additional amount. Don’t force yourself to do it, and mentally keep in mind that you don’t have to do it. You can stop whenever you want.

The idea is not to set the higher goal from the start. Set an achievable goal and commit to that. Only think about going further once you’ve achieved the achievable goal. If you begin with a goal of 2.5 miles, you will get mental stress and negative thoughts even for the portion of the achievable goal.

Compare it with my approach in hiking King’s Mountain. My plan was to go as far as I felt comfortable, and try to increase each time. I ended up doing the whole hike in the first go! Or some of my treadmill workouts. I commit to 20 minutes and then go however long I feel I can - often completing 30 minutes.

I guess it’s also the idea behind Tiny Habits.

An inflexible goal is harder to achieve. Make it flexible by making the initial part doable.

Keep in mind: Your energy level is dependent on your internal thoughts!

Whenever you have a task you feel you can’t complete, break it down this way. Focus on what you know you can do now.

Marathon trainers commit to completing two hours, and not to completing the marathon. The focus is to manage (and possibly enjoy) those two hours.

Concentration

If you feel you cannot concentrate, realize you are merely concentrating on something else - namely your distractions.

If those distractions involve strong emotions, it is preferred to stop and deal with them. The rest can be dealt with later. Have a system (e.g. GTD) to file it for later processing.

Listing distracted thoughts can be helpful in distinguishing between those that are creative ways to get you to avoid doing something (“let me get a snack”). For more serious distractions, have a system to deal with it later (e.g. schedule it).

The more you stick to this system (e.g. GTD), the fewer distractions will enter your mind in the future.

Five Types of Distractions

Strong emotions

These should be attended to immediately.

Are you trying to work in order to avoid dealing with something else that is causing those emotions? Issues with a loved one? Financial problems?

Give yourself time to think it through and write down what you can do to help with that situation. Think of where you can get support (e.g. friends). Once you’ve acknowledged the emotions and come up with a plan to deal with them, you’ll be able to resume your work more easily.

Warnings of Danger

Things like “I’m screwed if I don’t get this done by Thursday.”

Think of the worst that could happen and how you will deal with it if it indeed does happen. Create a coping plan and a safety net.

TODO Reminders

Things like grocery items. Put it in a post it note and in your inbox.

Escape Fantasies

Fantasizing about your upcoming vacation (or retirement). Record them for doing in your play time.

Unidentified Flights of Originality

Creative ideas unrelated to your work. Either note them down for later processing or just ignore them.

Goal Setting

Be realistic about what you can commit to. Too many goals means a lot of heartache on those you are not making progress on. Reduce the number to the amount you can wholeheartedly commit to.

Successful producers let go of goals that they cannot start on in the near future.

If your interest in a goal persists, but you cannot start on it now, find a place/time in the distant future (e.g. retirement list). Or even in the closer future (3 months from now) to evaluate if that is a good time to start. Just so that you can focus on your current goal now.

Avoiding Setbacks

You will have setbacks. Beyond trying to avoid them, try to find ways to bounce back:

Recognize that procrastinating is work

Understand that there are costs involved both in working and in avoiding work.

Freely choose the entire goal

State your goal as a choice: “I choose to…”

Also, try to do the painful tedious part first, so your brain knows you’ll be able to enjoy/control the rest of it.

Create Functional, Observable Goals

Goals should not be vague. They should involve an action, have a deadline, and a cost component (time or money) (e.g. spend 15 minutes on X).

Divide the goal into actionable sub-goals. A good subgoal tells you what you can do today to get closer to that goal.

Dealing With Others Who Procrastinate (At Work)

Direct them toward choice, safety, and acknowledge them for what they can do. Avoid critical statements - procrastinators likely already beat themselves up and piling on doesn’t help.

Recognize the following 3 thoughts in their heads:

  • Feeling like a victim
  • Being overwhelmed
  • Fear of failure

Communicate in ways that elicit commitment, and not compliance. Do it by focusing on manageable objectives. Provide praise whenever they step in the right direction. Focus on their starting each step. Provide safety and rewards.

Commitment to a task sparks more creativity and motivation than compliance. Give them some control over their projects.

Living With a Procrastinator

Don’t nag - they’ll act like children, and the focus will be on fighting an authority figure. Speak to them as if they are responsible and self determining adults (“I’m leaving at 8”). Let them choose to accompany you or not.

If you want to be on time, it is your problem. Phrase it as your need, not their deficiency.