If you’ve had to go through not being able to solve a problem that others found easy, or if you’ve been criticized often for less than perfect work, you may have developed a tendency to not even try those kinds of tasks. Procrastination due to this is difficult to unlearn.
There are three major fears that block action:
- Fear of being overwhelmed
- Fear of failure
- Fear of not finishing
The Reverse Calendar: Avoid Being Overwhelmed
Ways to become overwhelmed:
- Insist on knowing the one right place to start. Realize there are several adequate starting points.
- Not permitting yourself time along the course of your project for learning, building confidence, and asking for help. Don’t try to be competent right at the beginning.
- Getting anxious that you’re “just starting” when you think you should be “finished by now.” This way, every achievement will be diminished.
The reverse calendar is taking a large project, breaking it into smaller chunks, and planning and putting deadlines on each chunk. You begin with the final deadline and work back step by step.
Any time you feel overwhelmed, reach for the reverse calendar immediately. Use it to find out:
- What you can do now
- What you can delegate
The Work of Worrying
From the Bible:
Who of you can add one moment to his life’s course by worrying? So, if you cannot bring about that little, why be anxious about the rest?
When dealing with a threat, worry and anxiety can consume. Understand that being worried takes work. Instead, you could put those energies into tackling the threat/problem. However, the primary way to stave off worrying is to deal with the threat immediately (e.g. by coming up with a plan to tackle it).
6 step process to tackling things that cause worry:
- “What is the worst that could happen?” Make it concrete and then consider how probable it is.
- “What would I do if the worst really happened?” How would you get help? How would you deal with it? If that doesn’t work, what next? Keep answering until you’re confident that whatever happens, you’ll figure it out.
- “How would I lessen the pain and get on with as much happiness as possible if the worst did happen?” Think of your strengths, of self-forgiveness (especially for not being perfect),
- “What alternatives would I have?” “What will I have to do to increase the alternatives that are acceptable to me?” Have I narrowed my life to a single path/goal? Do I feel I will tolerate life only if I live by my terms? There are many ways to be happy and successful.
- “What can I do now to lessen the probability of this dreaded event occurring?” Is there anything that I’ve been procrastinating on that I need to face to lessen my worry and start working?
- “Is there anything I can do now to increase my chances of achieving my goal?”
Most people try to get an illusory confidence that says “I must have a guarantee that nothing will go wrong.” This prevents you from thinking what you will do if something goes wrong.
Persistent Starting: Overcoming the Fear of Finishing?
Are you a serial starter (even for things you are good at)? You may be so good at starting projects that give you passion that you may not even consider it as procrastination.
It takes work to procrastinate, and it takes work to face the fear of finishing. You cannot escape work.
Identify the negative thoughts in your mind once you’ve gotten started with your work. Use these to prepare challenges that take the fear out of finishing and free up your creative energy:
- “I need to do more preparation before I can start.” To overcome this, label as procrastination any tendency to run to the boss for help, or do research (in the library/Internet) with the excuse that you’re doing further preparation.
- “At this rate I’ll never finish.” Expect the rate to be slow in the early stages as you keep learning. Things will go faster later on.
- “I should have started earlier.” If the project suddenly seems bigger than you initially imagined, look at the tools to avoid becoming overwhelmed. Keep the commitment for guilt free play.
- “There’s only more work after this.” The current work is separate from whether you will do more work later. You have the option to not do future work (e.g. find a new job). Make plans for alternative options post-project.
- “It’s not working.” This could be perfectionism rearing its ugly head. Perhaps you are not making alternative plans to make this project succeed? Focus on making this path work and stop fantasizing about all the other paths you are not on.
- “I only need a little more time.” The first priority is to get it good enough. Stop making it great, and stop worrying about how others will perceive you if it’s not great - most will value it being finished rather than perfect. Chances are that your standards are higher than others. Also, consider what other things you could do with your time if you finish now - are those options more valuable than putting finishing touches?