Step Seven: Diagnose Your Weakness

Common problems:

• The struggler: Craves attention. Seeks turmoil and impossible situations.
• The conflict avoider: Downplays disagreements, changes sensitive topics, etc.
• The overachiever: Afraid of failure and humiliation. Low self-worth. Takes on too much. Workaholic.
• The underachiever: Lacks self confidence. Aims low.
• The shamer: Insecure. Always blames others. Shames them too.
• The fixer: Feels superior. Feels he is constantly cleaning up others’ messes.
• The bully: Explodes and picks on others.
• The schmoozer: Always on. Very superficial in relationships. Tells people what they want to hear.
• The micromanager: Low expectation of others. Limits others’ decision-making authority.
• The jester: Copes by joking. Even with serious topics.
• The scientist: Focuses on facts and data. Suppresses and ignores emotions.
• The pleaser: Tries to be all things to all people.
• The dramatist: Lacks perspective. Turns small issues into large ones.
• The racehorse: Competitively races to win. Not a team player.

Keep in mind, the traits that made you successful in the past may be holding you back now.

Most people need help from others in overcoming bad behavior.

Solve one bad behavior at a time.

1. What bad interaction have you had recently? Identify what you did to make it worse (your contribution?)
2. Learn/extract lessons from your role models. What do you admire about him/her? Identify what is holding you back.
3. Ask others.

Once you’ve picked the behavior, use a 0-5 scale to gauge progress. 4 means you did well this week.